"Café Events" are small, informal events where we discuss our research and our (perhaps, unfulfilled) research interests. Our ongoing "Biology Café" series is exactly that, but focused on topics at the intersection of biology and computation. Today's presentation by Sophia von Hippel covered the open, and very important, problem of developing a mathematical language for chemistry. Chemistry has a great diagrammatic syntax, but a (or, multiple) terrible prose representation. Sophia presents the problem in clear and careful detail with examples, and then we discuss. TL;DR: we don't solve the problem. Sophia is currently pursuing a BS in Chemistry at the University of Arizona (with Honors). She previously interned with NASA and served as a COVID-19 vaccinator. She is also an Emergency Medical Technician with the University of Arizona Emergency Medical Services (UAEMS). You can also view this presentation as a video on YouTube [HERE].